HELPING YOUR CHILD OVERCOME SHYNESS
My best friends daughter is a 3 years old kiddo, and she has been taking her for play dates at my place, since she had just learnt to crawl. Thus she must feel like home at my place but nothing of this sort happened. After playing for a few minutes she returns back to the comfort of her mom’s lap. She tried taking her to places so that she comes out of her nutshell and socializes with people. It is ok to be a little reserved, but if she remains to be shy then it will come as an obstacle for her from enjoying new experiences and doing stuff that she really wants to do. She is definitely missing out on different opportunities, and in the long run these small opportunities will become huge.
REASON OF SHYNESS:
The child could be shy by birth or by learned reaction, or it could be both. Researches have concluded that kids could be shy consistently or inhibit depending on the situation. Kids could feel shy at some point of time of childhood or could be temperamentally inclined towards shyness. Stranger anxiety or separation anxiety can create shy behavior, but a shy baby will not wary only of new people or get upset when you leave, but she will also be less willing to reach for a new toy and get cautious as she gets older.
Each child is unique and we need to accept the child the way they are, but teaching the child to get more comfortable in social situations is of equal importance. Although my friend’s child is shy and this is not a problem because shy kids are great listeners and observers and definitely get in less trouble at school. But being bashful becomes problem and this gets in the way of doing things and this is a problem. If in a party the child does not mingle with all and that prevents her to be happy then it is a problem.
HOW TO REALIZE A SHY CHILD:
Once you have recognized the common behavioral traits of shy child you can work with them rather than working against them. Shy kids are self reliant, thoughtful, and empathetic but they do not try new things. They need time to warm up and adapt themselves to new situations. They also desire to make new friends but avoid approaching. Thus the important tip to tackle shy child is give them all the time they need let them work at their pace but do not force them to work at your pace.
The key to work for a shy child is to support and also encourage the child. Do not try to eliminate shyness but help the child to work within their personality and let them do things that they desire to do.
Parenting the shy child is an enduring and recurring process. Some of the techniques that may help your child to overcome shyness is as follows:
1. Show them the way:
While most of the parents are sitting on the benches and you need to join the sandbox, just go ahead and do that. If your presence makes the child feel comfortable then there is no harm in staying there.
2. Set the stage:
Let your friends and family know that your child takes time to warm up. Give the child ample of time to adjust with new situation and adapt as per the situation.
3. Strike the balance:
Strike the balance: Help the child and protect them from the uncomfortable situations, learning to deal with anxiety is a part of life. If you are in a party and she does not leaves your side for even a minute in the full 3 hours, encourage her to mix with the people. Not be in the center stage but at least take turn. Do not force it on them let it be done naturally
4. Help your child discover their strengths and abilities:
A child who is shy, is not talking, does not mean that the child is not capable of striking a conversation. The child is as good at his peers like any other kid. As you try to teach the child to become social adept focus on the fact that you are teaching him these to make them feel comfortable but not because you want to change them.
5. Provide the social entry strategy:
Let your child to observe a group of people, listen to them, give your child the time to get used to each other. Help the child to get in the conversation or try to strike the conversation with some common talking points.
“Every child need not be a social butterfly, but being comfortable in social gatherings is important”.